Stop the Cycle: Why Quick Fixes Fail & Growth Mindset Wins

This week, over breakfast with my daughter, one of those big life conversations came up. We were just doing our usual morning thing—chatting over oatmeal with Gilmore Girls playing in the background—when our conversation shifted to something deeper.

It started out casually enough. “How’s school going?” I asked. She gave me the rundown and mentioned a “B” in one of her classes, quickly adding, “I would’ve had an ‘A,’ but I missed one assignment… but it doesn’t matter—the semester’s over, so I can’t change it.” My daughter is not one to judge herself harshly—a quality I admire. She accepts things as they come and moves on quickly without dwelling. But as she adjusts to middle school, I’ve started noticing a flip side to this strength: a tendency to skip over self-reflection and avoid looking closer at her role in situations that don’t go as planned.

This made me think about the skill it takes to adopt a growth mindset. Unlike the instinct to move past discomfort, a growth mindset asks us to view setbacks as steps forward and to take ownership of our choices. This isn’t something that usually comes naturally—it’s a skill that requires time, reflection, and intentionality.

Reflection Isn’t About Guilt—It’s About Growth

So why am I sharing this story? What does this have to do with health and wellness? Well, it’s everything. The women I work with are smart, successful, and incredibly multi-faceted. They’ve achieved so much, but when it comes to their own health goals, this part of their life has often taken a backseat—because, well, life happens! For others, it’s something they’ve poured time, energy, and money into, yet despite their best efforts, they haven’t reached the results they’re looking for: steady energy, feeling better in their bodies, and achieving that lean, strong look. Often, it’s not about lacking willpower or motivation; it’s about having the right tools and learning to view daily choices as the foundation for progress.

And I get it; reflecting on why something isn’t working can be uncomfortable. It might mean letting go of something familiar or questioning those “safe” choices we keep making, even when they aren’t helping us reach our goals. I often hear clients say, “I tried, but it was just too hard,” or “I followed everything perfectly, but it didn’t work.” When we look closer, we start to see patterns: choosing overly restrictive diets that ultimately don’t cultivate any sustainable habits, feeling like we have to be perfect, and then giving up completely the moment we slip up. These approaches feel familiar, and yet they often lead to the same outcome: high motivation at first (because our brains love the excitement of something new), followed by frustration when it can’t be sustained long enough for real results. We end up exhausted, burnt out, and stuck in the “all or nothing” cycle.

Breaking the Cycle and Embracing a Growth Mindset

Here’s the truth we often need to remember: if we want different results, we need to take different actions, often guided by different beliefs. This means breaking out of the cycle of doing the same things over and over, expecting change. Reflecting on our choices isn’t about guilt—it’s about growth. Maybe it’s time to rethink the belief that extreme measures are the only path to health, and instead explore balanced, moderate approaches where our favorite foods have a place in our diet.

Real change means letting go of the fixed mindsets that keep us stuck in diet culture’s hamster wheel. Instead of looking for quick fixes, true progress comes from the power of slow, sustainable habits that genuinely move the needle forward.

Embracing Discomfort as a Path to Growth

Change isn’t easy; it often means stretching beyond our comfort zones—but not in the way we might think. We’re often led to believe that getting results requires going to extremes: being ultra-restrictive, pushing through hunger, or feeling sore all the time from our workouts. But the most powerful, lasting transformations I’ve seen, both personally and with clients, have come from doing less. It’s about focusing on a few key habits and doing them well, consistently. It means letting go of the “all or nothing” mentality and embracing small, gentle actions that might not seem like much at first but build real results over time.

It also means getting honest with ourselves about why we struggle with food, why we avoid it or don’t fully trust ourselves around it, and questioning why restriction seems like the solution.

True growth requires us to be okay with the discomfort of trying something new, taking ownership, and making choices that truly align with where we want to go. There are no failures—only chances to learn. So, let’s stop brushing off what didn’t work and start asking ourselves why, with curiosity and a willingness to grow, because that’s where real, lasting change happens.

Turning Setbacks into Growth

Here’s a simple framework to help you practice self-reflection and build self-trust when things don’t go as planned. This process helps turn experiences into insights, allowing you to make choices that support your goals and build trust in yourself over time.

Step 1: Reflect on What Happened
Take a moment to think about what happened. Maybe you ended up eating more than you needed at dinner and now you’re feeling stuffed and bloated. What was going on that led you there? Were you overly hungry, stressed, or just craving comfort? Look at the situation honestly and with curiosity—no need to beat yourself up.

Step 2: Find the Insight
Ask yourself, “What small shift could help me next time?” If you ate more than you needed because you were overly hungry by dinnertime, that’s a clue! Maybe next time, you’ll plan a small afternoon snack to take the edge off before dinner. And don’t forget to notice what did go well. Maybe you still included some veggies with your meal or took a few mindful bites. These small wins matter—they’re the foundation for lasting progress.

Step 3: Make a Simple Plan
Choose one small change to try next time. If you found yourself overly hungry at dinner, think about using breakfast and lunch as an opportunity to keep your energy steady throughout the day. Maybe plan to include protein and fiber with each meal leading up to dinner so you’re not arriving at the table starving. Or set aside one day each week to prep quick, go-to snacks that help bridge the gap between meals. Keep it simple and doable so you can stay consistent—small steps really add up!

Step 4: Go Easy on Yourself
Progress doesn’t mean you’ll never hit a bump in the road. When you follow through with even the smallest healthy habit, give yourself credit. Had an off day? No big deal—that’s normal. Just keep showing up for yourself, because consistency over time is what makes the difference.

This process isn’t about aiming for perfection but about gaining insight from each experience and using that knowledge to make choices that feel aligned, achievable, and supportive of your goals.

If you are interested in a customized nutrition plan that provides flexibility and is built for the long-term- I’ve got you!

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